Thursday, June 23, 2011

This is petty

But I can't shake it. I'm so sick of being the fattest person in my family. Like, by a wide margin. Cousins and all. And even when I was being neurotic about everything I ate and over-exercising, I was still the fattest person in my family. I manage to forget this but every time I see the photos of a family gathering, it makes me feel like shit.

Plus, they're all completely diet-talk obsessed. I mean they don't actually have to diet or exercise to be thin, they're just sort of obsessed with talking about how they're totally getting fat and shouldn't be eating whatever it is they're eating. It sucks, and it adds to my desire to avoid them.

I really don't know why I couldn't have had a fat family. And I really wish it didn't matter this much to me.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

My Son

I feel like I'm getting a glimpse into the teen years with this two-year-old thing.

1) He has started hitting. Often. Hard. And for no reason at all. We put him in time out. He has never gotten what he wants by hitting. And yet it continues. In fact, it's gotten worse. Tonight he smacked me in the face when I was getting his pajamas on, and so instead of rocking him I just put him in his crib and left. As I was closing the door he said, "Bye" but in the sassiest imaginable tone. It's all very weird.

2) I just yesterday enrolled him in preschool that starts after Labor Day. It's two days a week for half a day each time and I'm freaking out about the prospect of leaving him on his own. But I felt like I needed to do it because at our baby gym class he wouldn't socialize with anyone besides me. Then, today at baby gym he hangs out with a little girl; swinging on the bars, rolling the round cushion climbing through the obstacle courses, even having a little jabber jabber conversation and laughing together. When they left the little girl said, "Bye! I love you!" and he pet her head like a puppy. Where was this kid before I signed up to leave him with a stranger?

I swear, I'm going to be a regular drinker by the time he's three.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm a big deal

Again, not really. I'm enjoying these fake out titles. I just got a very nice letter from the guy editing the anthology my first short story is going to be in. He said a lot of encouraging things that made me so happy I'm going to ignore the fact that the formatting guidelines he links to on the submissions page of his website contradict the formatting changes he's asked me to make. But these last couple things make me giggle whenever I think about them. He's referring to an essay about writing the short story which is also going to be in the anthology.

(1000 words or less, more if you need to)

Deadline June 31, or whenever...

I'm sure he's just reached the point where he trusts me to be professional and timely, but whenever I think about it I get Ke$ha in my head singing, "Because the party don't start 'till I walk in."

Also, I'm researching preschools and we're probably about to start potty training. I find that both overwhelming and surreal.