However, recently she was reviewing a dress for a plus-size online boutique and she was talking about the sizing and in doing so she spelled out her dimensions. She is about six inches shorter than me and weighs close to a hundred pounds more than me. Now to some degree the whole height/weight thing looks different on all people and so I don't know exactly how far off my perception is, but with that great of a disparity we can't look all that similar.
It's a bit jarring. I mean I know I'm still fat because 1) I can see myself. and 2) Most of society reacts to me as though I am a fat person. I just may not be the kind of fat I think I am which is disheartening because I thought I had...well okay really I don't know what I thought but I'm just feeling very weird and not happy about this at all. I've been working really hard at gaining a realistic self-image and then becoming fine with that. ( I plan to do another post about my destructive dieting/ overexercising/ perpetual goalpost moving and my subsequent quest to recover and develop healthy food and exercise relationships eventually, but I'm waiting to have time to do it well.) And it seems that I'm not doing nearly as well with that as I thought I was. It sucks is what I'm saying.