Thursday, June 23, 2011

This is petty

But I can't shake it. I'm so sick of being the fattest person in my family. Like, by a wide margin. Cousins and all. And even when I was being neurotic about everything I ate and over-exercising, I was still the fattest person in my family. I manage to forget this but every time I see the photos of a family gathering, it makes me feel like shit.

Plus, they're all completely diet-talk obsessed. I mean they don't actually have to diet or exercise to be thin, they're just sort of obsessed with talking about how they're totally getting fat and shouldn't be eating whatever it is they're eating. It sucks, and it adds to my desire to avoid them.

I really don't know why I couldn't have had a fat family. And I really wish it didn't matter this much to me.


Danny said...

While wondering what your life could have been like if your family had been different in some way isn't particularly fruitful, I think it's perfectly natural. And even a sort of processing tool for getting back to the life you're living. Taking a mental break.

Summer said...

Thanks. I guess it is normal, but it feels wrong. Especially since I mostly wonder about them having a different body type because otherwise most of my family are just regular people with regular albeit often annoying failings.